


'Til Death Us Do Part

by Emrys MK (mk_malfoy)



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Canon Era, Caring Arthur, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Minor Character Death, Poor Will, Sad Merlin, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-08
Updated: 2017-07-08
Packaged: 2018-11-29 12:01:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11440461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mk_malfoy/pseuds/Emrys%20MK
Summary: Merlin is happy with Arthur, but there is someone else who could also make him happy. He has a decision to make, but fate has other plans and decides his future for him.





	'Til Death Us Do Part

**Author's Note:**

> **Disclaimer:** Merlin characters are the property of Shine and BBC. No profit is being made, and no copyright infringement is intended.

Merlin looked out over the vast lands that surrounded Ealdor as he sat in the tree he and Will had played in for hours each day as children. It was amazing how much smaller everything appeared now. As a child, the caves and woods had seemed vast and foreboding. Now they merely added charm to the small village Merlin didn’t get to see nearly enough these days.

“Where’s _Your Royal Pain-in-the-Arse-ness_?” Will asked as he climbed up and sat on the large branch across from Merlin. “I thought loverboy was in a hurry to set off for Camelot this morning, because, well,”— Will was silent for several seconds as he seemed to study Merlin, no doubt thinking of the best snide remark he could—“I guess our sleeping accommodations are lacking and he can’t wait to get back to his royal bedding?” Will gave Merlin his patent _exasperated-at-Arthur look_ that he had perfected over the past several years. “How you can put up with him I’ll never understand; he is the complete opposite of you in every way, Merlin. He doesn’t deserve you.”

 _And you think you do, do you?_ , Merlin was tempted to say, but he would never hurt Will like that. He instead rolled his eyes. Jealousy really didn’t look good on his friend; one would think that by now Will would have grown up and caught on to the fact that his constant ribbing of Arthur upset Merlin. Then again, Will had never been one to be overly worried about hurting anyone’s feelings; he was one of those people who said what he thought, regardless of the consequences, which had resulted in him getting in more than his fair share of altercations over the years. “You know very well that we have been coming here for the past five years, Will, and Arthur has yet to complain _once_ about sleeping on the floor. It just so happens that he and Mum are taking a walk in the garden. They shooed me off, so here I am.” Merlin schooled his face but was fairly certain the hurt in his voice meant his facial expression was meaningless. Arthur was right: Merlin was as good at hiding his emotions as he was with hiding his magic.

“Ah,” was Will’s only response, but he was grinning in that infuriating way of his that meant he was about to wax poetic about some subject or another that Merlin wasn’t going to like.

Not wishing to hear Will’s philosophical meanderings, Merlin looked to his left and wondered what his mum and Arthur were talking about. He was curious as to why his mum hadn’t wanted him to hear what she and Arthur had to discuss, but, regardless of the reason, he knew he’d be able to get it out of Arthur. 

Merlin’s frown turned into a satisfied grin. He had his ways, and what fun ways they were. The thought made him let out a chuckle as he turned back towards Will, who was looking at him strangely, smirking and shaking his head condescendingly. It made Merlin extremely self-conscious and served to turn his grin back into a frown. He didn’t like the look Will was giving him; often times it meant he was about to be teased. “What?” Merlin finally asked, both not wanting yet wanting to know.

“You really don’t have a clue, do you?” Will said, letting out a laugh as Merlin continued to stare at him, confused. “Think about it, Merlin. Why would Arthur want to talk to your mother _alone_ , without you present? It is obvious to me,” he added, an exaggerated sigh following.

Merlin was tired of this game and wished Will would get on with it and explain himself. “I do not presume to know the ways of Arthur, Will. You know just as well as me that he does as he pleases. He’s a right prat for it, but it’s just how it is, yeah?” Merlin had long ago given up the idea that Arthur would change his ways, and over the past year Merlin had discovered that he really didn’t want Arthur to change at all—he liked Arthur just the way he was. And, it would appear that Arthur felt the same about Merlin seeing as how for the past two fortnights the two had shared Arthur’s bed. “Since you so obviously know what they are talking about, do enlighten me, _o wise one_ ,” Merlin said cheekily.

Will rolled his eyes again and sighed in an over-dramatic fashion as he jumped out of the tree and landed on his bum. He looked up at Merlin with a sheepish grin as he swept the wet grass, dirt, and refuse from some animal off of his clothing. “He's asking your mum for her permission to take you on as his consort, or whatever you call it whenever a prince prat takes on a lover.”

Merlin sputtered. And just how had Will come to that conclusion? Of all the silly things his best friend had ever uttered, this had to be the silliest. Merlin opened his mouth to spout off the reasons Will was wrong.

Arthur and he had discussed their situation and had decided that it was best if they kept their relationship quiet for now. Arthur’s father was expecting his son to marry and produce an heir. It would be shock enough for the king to realise his wishes weren’t to be honoured. News of his son taking on a consort, one who happened to be _Merlin_ , would probably be one surprise too many and, as much as Arthur did want to someday be king, he was in no way near ready to do so anytime soon.

“That’s just foolish talk, Will. It’s only been two fortnights. I hardly think that constitutes talk of a consortship or whatever you call it,” he said, flustered at the mere idea, and when Will waggled his eyes, Merlin pulled at a small tree limb and threw it at Will, who stuck out his tongue when it sailed past him.

“Call it whatever you will, Merlin. He’s mad for you and wants to make sure no one else can get their hands on what is now his.” With that Will walked off, looking somewhat hurt.

Frustrated at what Will had said about Arthur not wanting anyone else to get their hands on what was his, and sad about the fact that Will wasn’t talking about _just anyone_ when he’d made that statement, Merlin deliberately turned his head and watched as one of his mother’s neighbors began hanging their laundry to dry.

Why did Merlin’s life have to be so complicated? Sometimes he wished he hadn’t left Ealdor. Yes, it took an enormous amount of work each day to survive in the small, rural village, but the work he’d done as a boy had made him feel needed and wanted, and everyone had appreciated him for his willingness to be a help to whoever needed it.

In Camelot, Merlin had never quite fit in. Yes, there was Gaius, Gwen, Morgana, and Arthur, and they’d made life bearable for Merlin, but it wasn’t the same. He had left Ealdor because his mother had feared the inevitable rebuke of her son because of his magic, yet she had sent him into the heart of the den of discontent as far as he was concerned. It was truly ironic and infinitely disheartening.

Had he remained in Ealdor, he and Will would have no doubt become more than best friends. Not that Will had ever been what Merlin wanted or was looking for in a life partner, but he was Will, and that would have been more than enough. Merlin had always loved him, and that would never change. Will was a good man and worked hard for all he had. And he was wholly devoted to Merlin and thought he hung the moon.

And that is why it hurt Merlin so much to see Will walking away, his shoulders slumped. He deserved so much more than what life had given him. Perhaps he really did deserve Merlin more than Arthur did. Not that Merlin wanted to believe that, but it was something to think about.

“Merlin, why haven’t you readied the horses? We need to leave,” called out Arthur’s familiar entitled voice, interrupting Merlin’s reverie.

Merlin turned towards the sound. How was it that he was falling in love with the prat prince who was technically his employer when he had a sure thing with Will? “Coming,” he sing-songed, thinking that he had some serious thinking to do.

**A Year Later**

Merlin sat in his favorite tree in Camelot, breathing heavily, his anxiety threatening to overwhelm him. Arthur would be coming for him soon to tell him how _the talk_ with his father had gone.

Arthur had woken up that morning, his legs and arms entangled with Merlin’s, and he had blurted out that today was the day he was going to tell his father that he would never be marrying a princess from some neighboring kingdom because he was in love with Merlin and that he had every intention of spending the rest of his life with him.

Merlin had felt such love then and had been hopeful, but now, using magic to strip the bark from one of the branches, all of Merlin’s insecurities returned, full force. He loved Arthur and couldn’t imagine a future without him, but there would be dissention from the nobles regarding him, which he wasn’t at all looking forward to, and then there was that never-ending lump in his throat where Will was concerned.

Arthur’s time was becoming less his own with his increased duties because Uther’s health wasn’t good, and that meant his time with Merlin was limited. He was already spending less time with Merlin, and often when they were together Arthur was gruff and and not at all sympathetic when Merlin had grievances. And all of that would only get worse. Yes, Merlin had known that would be the case, but he had overlooked it at the time because he had been so completely besotted with Arthur.

Not that Merlin needed to be the center of attention—he very much disliked it when he was the focus of anyone other than his mother, Arthur, or Will, in fact—yet he did crave some little bit of attention. Arthur hadn’t given him that recently. Will would give him that and more.

Perhaps Merlin needed to rethink his future.

“There you are,” said a voice that grated on Merlin’s nerves.

He turned and saw George approaching the tree. “Here I am,” he said flippantly, wondering why he couldn’t be left in peace. “I thought you were gone.” Merlin sighed. He knew it was ridiculous—his dislike of George, but he couldn’t help it. “So why are you looking for me?” he asked, much too petulantly.

“I have a letter for you and was told to deliver it to you immediately upon my return to Camelot.”

Merlin jumped out of the tree, only thinking after the fact that using magic to cushion his ungraceful landing probably hadn’t been the wisest course of action, but he would worry about that later. He grabbed the parchment from George’s hand and opened it, not caring that George was still there, undoubtedly curious as to its contents.

_Merlin,_

_I am sorry to have to write you this in a letter, but there has been an accident. Will fell out of your tree this morning and is in a bad way. Please come home if at all possible. I know you and he have had a tense relationship over these past months, but you are his best friend and I know he would want to see you and that you would want to see him._

_Love, Your Mother_

Merlin shook his head. Not Will. No, not Will. He wiped at his eyes to rid himself of the onslaught of tears that were threatening to burst free, looked briefly at George, who was studying him a bit too closely, then ran towards the castle to find Arthur and tell him what had happened. There was no way Merlin wasn’t going to Ealdor.

There was a delegation from Mercia arriving the following day and Merlin’s schedule had already been booked solid from dawn to dusk, but none of that mattered now. Yes, Arthur would pitch a royal hissy fit and he would _want_ to beg Merlin to not go (Merlin knew he wouldn’t), but there was nothing to be done for it. This was Will. He needed his best friend, and Merlin was not about to let him down.

Merlin ran around to all the usual places Arthur would be at this time of day, but, unfortunately, it seemed Arthur was still meeting with his father… which was another tenuous situation. Merlin had been nervous enough about that meeting before, but now, with news of Will’s accident, he was a bundle of nerves. What would the king think if Merlin left now? Merlin swallowed and followed it with a deep breath. It would be the worst possible time to leave.

Several minutes later, Merlin, past the point of panic, settled on the floor beside Arthur’s bed and closed his eyes, trying unsuccessfully to calm himself. He needed to go inform Gaius of what had happened, and he needed to procure George’s services for the next several days, but at the moment he could do neither. He leant his head against the bed and allowed the tears to fall.

If Will died, Merlin wasn’t sure he could go on. Well, of course, he would, but Will and he were like bread and butter, weren’t they? One could get on without the other but was infinitely improved when the other was added. Perhaps it was not near the same as two sides of the same coin, but not many things were, were they?

Merlin was pulled from his depressing thoughts when someone gently touched his face and wiped away a tear. His immediate reaction was to back away, but then he realised it could only be one person; who else would be in this room? Merlin took a shaky breath and tried to pull himself together. He slowly looked up and saw that Arthur was worried. Merlin wasn’t sure he could speak.

“What’s wrong? George told me something had upset you.” Arthur sat beside Merlin and pulled him into his lap.

It was somewhat awkward, but at the moment Merlin cared little about that. He needed contact with the man he loved, so he gladly relished the feeling of being safe in Arthur’s arms as he rested his head against Arthur’s chest and stared at the wall. “Will has been in an accident. My mum sent word and requested for me to come home to see him. It must be bad.” He felt as Arthur began to run a hand through his hair, and it did wonders for Merlin’s nerves. He closed his eyes. “I know it isn’t a good time, but I must go, Arthur.” And with that Merlin forced himself to sit up and look into Arthur’s eyes. “I need to do this.” A new set of tears made their way down his cheek, and a sob broke forth as Arthur kissed several of them away.

“Of course you do. I would be disappointed if you didn’t go,” Arthur said as he wiped away more tears. “You should go as soon as possible. I will have George ready your horse and get your supplies together.”

Merlin nodded, but he made no move to stand. He wanted to remain in Arthur’s arms where he felt protected from the outside world. When Arthur leant in and kissed him softly on the lips, Merlin returned the kiss and tried to let the moment warm him. It didn’t, but it did give him strength.

“Go to him, Merlin,” Arthur whispered in his ear.

Merlin pulled back and nodded before he stood, thanking whomever he should that Arthur understood. “I’ll send word as soon as I know anything,” he said, his voice now much stronger.

**~*~**

Merlin stood at the door and watched as Will struggled for his every breath. He looked pale. He appeared dead. The person in the bed little resembled the Will who had been Merlin’s best friend ever since the two had been born.

According to his mother, Will had climbed the tree and was settling onto his branch when a strong gust of wind had come up, thrown his balance off, and caused him to fall off backwards onto the wood pile beneath. He had been able to yell for help but had lost consciousness soon after, only coming around later that day, and going in and out of awareness since.

Slowly, Merlin walked to the bed and sat in the chair. Will looked to be sleeping, but according to his mother, he was probably awake. Merlin opened his mouth but immediately knew he wouldn’t be able to speak. The lump in his throat was huge, even bigger than it had been when he’d thought Arthur had died because of the Questing Beast, and Merlin tried valiantly to keep the emotion away. He didn’t want Will to know how bad off he was. He probably knew—he was the one injured, of course—but Merlin wanted Will to fight this with every bit of fight he had.

“Merlin,” Will whispered, slowly opening his eyes. “You came.” His eyes closed again. “Wasn’t sure you would. Thought that prat of yours would have you bowing to his boots or some rot like that.” He then let out a laugh, but the coughing fit that followed was a high price to be paid.

Merlin swallowed. He could do this. “As if he could keep me from coming to see you. But, if you must know, Will, Arthur told me to come. Can you believe that?” Merlin let out a weak laugh, for Will’s sake, to keep things light, but laughter was the very last thing he felt like doing.

Will again opened his eyes, but it was evident that it was a struggle to keep them as such. “Must know he’s finally won; nothing to worry about now, eh?” A smile, but no laugh this time. “The better man won,” he whispered. He closed his eyes and, soon after, his breathing evened out.

Merlin sat there for several minutes, watching as Will slept. Did Will truly believe that? Did he believe Arthur was the better man? Because, if he did, Merlin needed to set him straight. Arthur was _not_ the better man. Yes, he was the man Merlin loved and the one who Merlin wanted to spend the rest of his life with, but he was not the better man.

There was no better man in this scenario.

There never had been.

Merlin looked behind him when he heard someone entering. His mum was watching him sadly. “He isn’t going to survive this, is he?” he asked, dreading the answer, even as he already knew what she’d say. It was evident, and it was nothing less than devastating for him.

When he was five, one of his and Will’s friends had died. Merlin remembered being sad and asking why Thomas couldn’t come out and play anymore, but he had been too young to fully grasp what that loss meant. All these years later, he was all too aware, and he wasn’t ready. He would never be prepared for that level of loss.

Merlin’s magic could, perhaps, help somewhat, but, as his mother had reminded him, Will was probably too badly hurt—the fall had most likely broken his back. Will was unable to move his legs, and his arm movements were awkward and excruciating to watch. How would Merlin explain if suddenly Will were able to walk? Merlin hadn’t cared and wanted to do whatever it took, but his mother told him that it was likely his magic would merely prolong Will’s suffering, and that was the last thing Merlin wanted to do. He still could have tried and maybe he still could do something, but for better or for worse, he would defer to his mother’s pleadings that he leave things be. 

It was the hardest decision of Merlin’s life.

“No, cariad, I’m sorry to say that his injuries are too severe. I am amazed he has made it this long, but I’m convinced he held on so he could see you again,” his mother said sadly as she joined him and placed her hands on his shoulders. “He loved you so, Merlin.”

Merlin turned and looked up at her, seeing the sorrow in her eyes. He wished she hadn’t said that. He knew it was the truth, but it hurt too much to hear now, especially from his mother. “I hurt him, Mum. I didn’t mean to, but I did.”

“Will knows that you didn’t want to hurt him, Merlin. He knew that Arthur was the one for you. He knew that the first time he met Arthur, but that doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt him to see Arthur here with you. I think that was what was so hard for him the last time the two of you were here together. He, unlike you, understood why Arthur was here.”

Merlin returned his attention to Will. “I didn’t know that is why Arthur had come with me. I don’t know how Will saw it and I didn’t.” It wasn’t exactly the truth, but Merlin didn’t like admitting that he just wasn’t as observant as others.

His mother let out a small laugh. “Oh, Merlin, Will was forever seeing things that you didn’t, love. He’s always watched out for you. Of course he would have seen your and Arthur’s trip for what it was. He realised that Arthur wanted you to be in his life forever.”

“Did he hate me, Mum?” Merlin asked as he once again looked back at his mother, wanting her to tell him no, but needing to know the truth, regardless of what that was.

His mother reached down and wiped a tear from her son’s eye. “Do you honestly think Will could ever hate you, Merlin? That boy was and is completely devoted to you. He did love you, even knowing you could never return his feelings. I’m not going to say he was okay with that—it hurt him deeply, but he told me he would rather have you in his life as a friend than not have you in his life at all.”

Merlin found Will’s hand beneath the covers and twined their fingers together. For several seconds he looked at their hands joined, not wanting to believe that soon he would never be able to do this again. He had taken his friendship with Will for granted. Now it was to be taken away. It was so vastly unfair. “I love you, Will. I really do. I could never give you what you wanted, but I have always loved you. Please know that until I breathe my last you will always be my first love. No one can ever take that from us.” Merlin took comfort in the slight squeeze his mother gave his shoulders. He took a deep breath then leant down and kissed Will on the lips that were pale and dry. Merlin’s tears continued to fall and moisten them as he cried for all that he was about to lose.

**~*~**

“I’m sorry, Merlin,” Arthur said as Merlin crawled into the bed and settled within Arthur’s open arms “I’m so very sorry.”

Merlin nodded as he watched his tears fall onto Arthur’s bare chest. He couldn’t speak, but he knew Arthur wouldn’t expect him to. He felt as fingers carded through his hair and as a kiss was placed on his head.

“I love you, Merlin.”

Merlin was still unable to speak, but he thought it was important for him to look at Arthur before he said what he needed to say. He wiped his eyes and forced himself to look up. He managed a small grin. “And I love you, too, Arthur. I always have.”

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the [Kill Will Fest on Live Journal](http://killwill-fest.livejournal.com/)
> 
> I’m sorry, Will. Really, I am; it is all down to the mods that I had to kill you. Speaking of the mods, I want to thank them for coming up with this fest (Most of us really do like Will, yet we seem to kill him off quite often in fic, so it makes sense to make a fest for that). Thanks also to Pelydryn for beta’ing this—you are a dear!


End file.
